It hurts to see you like this..
You are the strongest person in our family and see you laying there, so weak;.....it only brought tears to my eyes.
I was hoping to see you sitting up, joking with sisters and nag me how I shaved my head and tell me I'm not focusing hard enough.
But with all these tubes in your body and cast over your neck.........I hate the whole world for doing this to you.
I thought I could handle it.
but I guess it's harder than I imagined.
Everyday goes by and my love for you is getting bigger and bigger.
And, knowing, there ain't shit I can do to make you feel better is what kills me.
I blame myself for living your side.
I feel that, this would've never happened if I was here.
Why did I go?
Why did I leave?
Seeing you laying there and trying to hold my tears to show you how strong I am, bust out crying in middle of the street as soon as I left.
Im sorry I was such a trouble maker when I was young and Im sorry I left.
I should've just been more focused and went to UW. I would been next to you I did that.
This experience is something that will help me grow.
I love you. Hope you recover soon and become healthy enough that you can nag me for days.
I just stopped by church.
Doors were locked so I couldn't get in.
I kneel infront of the door and I prayed out loud.
Told him you guys are the best parents any children could've asked for.
and I, being a pure soul; it would be unfair for him put me through this test.
I love you.
There is no way I can pay you back,
but I hope that I get a chance to make you guys happy.
That is all I ask for.

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