It hurts to see you like this..
You are the strongest person in our family and see you laying there, so weak;.....it only brought tears to my eyes.
I was hoping to see you sitting up, joking with sisters and nag me how I shaved my head and tell me I'm not focusing hard enough.
But with all these tubes in your body and cast over your neck.........I hate the whole world for doing this to you.
I thought I could handle it.
but I guess it's harder than I imagined.
Everyday goes by and my love for you is getting bigger and bigger.
And, knowing, there ain't shit I can do to make you feel better is what kills me.
I blame myself for living your side.
I feel that, this would've never happened if I was here.
Why did I go?
Why did I leave?
Seeing you laying there and trying to hold my tears to show you how strong I am, bust out crying in middle of the street as soon as I left.
Im sorry I was such a trouble maker when I was young and Im sorry I left.
I should've just been more focused and went to UW. I would been next to you I did that.
This experience is something that will help me grow.
I love you. Hope you recover soon and become healthy enough that you can nag me for days.
I just stopped by church.
Doors were locked so I couldn't get in.
I kneel infront of the door and I prayed out loud.
Told him you guys are the best parents any children could've asked for.
and I, being a pure soul; it would be unfair for him put me through this test.
I love you.
There is no way I can pay you back,
but I hope that I get a chance to make you guys happy.
That is all I ask for.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Special: My Memory of You(R.I.P Melissa Fagin)

Image
It was 8th grade that I moved to Redmond from Lynnwood. I didn't no anyone but people were nice to greet a foreign kid who still had an accent and weird style. I started to hang around Anthony and one day, I met you with Chris in a weird situation. But you were still funny, you were still gorgeous and you were great person to hang around. Ever since that we all became the 107 st./ block crew. Me with Omar, Phil, Ron, Anthony, and Chris, you with Ashley, Michaela, Moss, Stacy, Rachel; we were friends that were closer than just friends. We formed a family that we promised to be there when others needed help, motivation and support. I remember in 9th grade, I went to your house with Curtis and I think Ron and I remember the look you gave me and later on Curtis told me you liked how I looked . That maybe be take 254 at 9 PM to go back up the education hill to ask you out to be my girl. We dated 1 week but I still remember how me, you, Ron and Ash all walking around Redmond near Junio...
Read more

My cellphone history

Image
I had a cell phone ever since I was in 8th grade. Not because my parents were rich and just wanted to spoil their kids, they gave us the phone because they worked all the time and, what do you expect, we wanted it for emergency reasons ;), right? Just like many of you, my first phone was Nokia and we would text, call and play snakes on it. We had to buy ringtones from third party that sounded really nothing like the song. But it was cool and it was new, so I loved it and it served the purpose. Nokia 3390                          But soon after, flip phone era was in. But, nothing really cool was            cool was coming out. It was smaller the better kind of era and it had            to be a flip phone, so I got a Samsung phone that was simple but ok            work with. More games were on it, ringtones became more...
Read more

Top 5 Favorite Rappers of PJ

Image
I listen to everything from Rap, Rock, Jazz, Classicial, Blues, Punk, Pop, R&B, Dub Step, EDM and even Folk (No country or Heavy Metal, sorry). But, at the end of the day, my favorite have to be Hip Hop/ Rap. Why? because even though, so many so called music aficionados believe rap isn't really music, rap convey message using slang and code and it really fascinate me of how much creative a person can get. But do not get me wrong; this doesn't mean I like all rappers. If anything, I am more harsh on rappers than a R&B singers. For me, rap got to me creative and unique. Rap got to convey a message that everyone goes through and let the fans relate to the lyrics. Rap shouldn't always be about Money, Cars, Blings and Hoes; I love intelligent rap that actually have a message and meaning. So here is my top 5 rappers. 1) Jay - Z: If you know me, this shouldn't come off as a shock; this guy is my idol. Yes, he does talk about money, cars, blings and hoes; but who does...
Read more