Reckless Driving

What are some traits that defines "Reckless driving"? Angry driver, all over the place, not caring for traffic signs, danger-ring  others' lives, pushing the limits and hoping someone stops them before things gets worse....well, I feel that I am driving my life recklessly. So many changes and so many things that will never be the same; feel that things are meant to be tested. Thou shall not tempt the god, but I'm testing my luck to see how far I could push it till something awful happens. Do I feel right about doing this? I don't know how to feel at this point. I am out there like as if the world was going to end tomorrow and I am leaving no feelings behind. As if alcohol is my pain killer and substances are the balance, but it's only hurting my chances of being lucky.

I have lost my self in this situation and I am only digging the grave deeper when I act like this and I know my friends hate to see me the way I am. They often asked "What are you going through", which I thought I was trying some new things but now it's more like walking on a rope over the snake pit and I'm just bouncing around more so I can try to fall in. But my thing is that, I am asking myself "AM I going to fall in/ survive?". It's not that I have a death wish, but more like I am trying to test my luck to the fullest.

If you are thinking, let me answer before you ask, I am not in depression. Im not doing these things because I feel depressed, Im doing it so I can say I done it. I am not satisfied with my life yet, Im sick of being mid class citizens and worrying about down sizing. I will not going to be satisfied until I get to where I need to and I will know exactly when I reach that level that I have reached it. When that happens, I'll be little bit more calm and more "Normal" but I would never be normal. I love being different and I love not being you. And I stick by my story so much that you gonna think Im right and you are wrong, so who is normal?

I live reckless till I see a sign that tells me to slow down, until then, I'm mobbing down my life path. If you want to join this fast pace life style, you are welcome to hop on. I will not guarantee your safety because that is the best part about it. If you are in my way, you will be run down. If you are behind, don't bother, you won't catch me.

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